It’s a sudden change in life. It might take a little while to get used to, or it could only take a few days. Either way, the feeling you get when you see them again after you’ve let them go is a bittersweet one.
When you’re letting someone go, you have to let all of them go. You have to carefully let the person them self go. Let go of the communication. Let go of their clothes, their belongings, that you still might have. Let go of the memories of them that you hold dear, just for now. Because those memories, that nostalgia, will just have you holding on to them longer.
You may lay there confused and lost for a little bit. What are you supposed to do with their things? What are you supposed to do with the plans you two had made? You planned on star gazing together one night. Planned to see a specific movie, which won’t even be out for another 5 months. Are you going to remember them when you do get the chance to star gaze - but with someone else? Are you even going to end up seeing that movie anyway? Just like memories, those thoughts are going to keep you lingering around longer. Don’t do it.
Moving on is a must to move forward in life, a must to grow and self-preserve. It hurts now, it sucks now. It’s not what you want to do at all, but eventually you will move on. I can’t tell you whether the pain actually goes away or if you just get used to it. I still haven’t figured that out completely, although right now I believe it’s the latter.
Right now, think of this as a “good-bye”. Don’t expect to see that person. Don’t expect to run into them or communicate with them. Don’t expect and don’t plan. Just live your life and focus on yourself. Once you’re past all this - once you’ve moved on, you’ll think of it more as a “see you later”. Because you’ll come across this person again, but this time you won’t feel the pain. You’ll see them with a new haircut, new clothes. A shirt you never though you’d see them in. You’ll see they’ve moved on, and you’ll be glad that you did as well. Maybe then you can pick what you want to remember about about them, because you wouldn’t be hurting.
But for now, don’t remember them. Don’t think about the way they smile when you see them. Don’t think about how perfectly they fit in your arms. How often they wanted to hold your hand. Don’t think about the way they burp when they drink their beer and the way they wiped their fingers after every bite of their burger, even when they knew they were going to get them dirty in a few seconds anyway. Don’t think about how much they sucked at drinking games, but somehow always did well when you were around. Don’t think about the birthmark on their lower chin that you always caught a glimpse of when you woke up next to them in the mornings. They way they didn’t like kissing you if you had chapstick on. Don’t have anything to remember them by and before you know it, you won’t even remember much.
I either feel too much or don’t feel at all. When I’m not dating, I’m like how I usually am around my friends but the moment I get my heart broken and start expressing emotions, my guy friends are all “whao, I forget that you’re a girl with feelings”.
I’m usually a ruthless sassy bitch. But a broken heart makes me a soft nigga lol.
I especially like the ones that can make me laugh. I like the ones that take me to places I’ve never been to before. The ones that make me feel wanted. I like the ones that put in effort to see me, even if it means for just a few minutes in their day. I like the ones that are sweet when they should be. I admire the guys that are book smart and know where they’re heading in life and how they’re going to get there. I respect the guys that respect women. I like a MAN. I like the guys that take care of their bodies and health the way I take care of mine (maybe even better). I like the ones that can teach me new things and make me want to be a better person. I love the ones that like to show me off because he’s proud to have me.
How did we go from never see each other on campus, to meeting and spending every waking moment together, to seeing each other around campus frequently but not even acknowledging each others existence and presence.
My emotional strength and (when necessary) ruthlessness. My dedicated to my major and the fact that I’m studying engineering. The loyalty to my friends and whoever I may be dating. My open mind and ability to easily forgive. Oh and my ass because I stays squatting.
When things were a hassle with you, when I always got upset with the shit you gave me, when I want to just punch you in the face for being so rude. But when that’s all gone, I just want it all back. It was worth it, as long as it meant having you.
One advice to just stick in the back of your head and apply to everything you can: accept the sad truth, move on, and do something better.
You can apply this with school. If you fail a test that you studied so fucking hard for, you’re gonna complain about it and shit. Accept that you failed. Accept that maybe you didn’t study the right way, didn’t study enough, or got concepts confused. Move on and do better for the next exam. Go to office hours, stay after class to talk to the teacher/professor. Study with different people at a different place. Attack your next exam with different study methods.
You can apply this with your job. If you fucked up something once, accept it. You made a mistake. Apologize to who you should and move on. Do better at your next task and try your best at it, and don’t fuck up. It’s your job, don’t stay around and whine about it. Show your co-workers and boss that you can pick your head up and do better.
You can apply this with your love life. So what if you got played? Led you on this far just to realize that it ain’t the same for them? Fuck it man. Accept the sad truth that y’all were not meant to be and move on. You have better people to worry about, better things in life to stress about. Ain’t worth it sticking around for someone who doesn’t think you’re worth sticking around for. Find someone who finds you to be a blessing in their life. Move on. You can do a lot better.
I think it’s super important to really get to know the person you’re thinking about being a little more serious with, before you even get serious.
For my past relationships, I “talked” or “dated” the guy for a max of 1.5 months before we turned it into an official relationship. Although to some, this is a good amount of time to get to know him/her, I disagree. Only 1/3 of the time, for me, it’s worked fine. Just one relationship ended up being almost too perfect, and I only knew him for a little over a month before he asked me to be his girlfriend. The other two times, I wish I had more time to get to know him before we got more serious.
Getting to really know the person before starting a new chapter with them is super important. You want to be exposed to everything they are and can be before you decide to “deal” with them for the long-run. You want to know all the nooks and crannies of his personality and mind because you’re going to be getting more than a handful of that later on. Find out all the makes and breaks about him so you know what you’re going to be dealing with. So maybe you’ll already accept his flaws and faults so that you won’t use it as a reason to fight or argue later on.
Take your time. Rushing is never a good thing, when it comes to these cases.
Not much is new in my life. School is still a drag. Being an officer for FSA is a lot of work. Weather is as bipolar as ever. Oh, but there’s this guy. And he kinda sorta makes me really really happy. He loves holding my hand. And taking me out. He even likes studying with me. We did this thing where we stayed up till 5AM just listening to our favorite songs. And the next morning he left sticky notes around his place for me to find. So yeah.
I want to believe that deep down inside the both of us, we know that we belong together, that we’re right for each other. But I don’t believe that. Because if two people really wanted to be together, really liked each other the way I want to think we do, they would already be exclusively each other’s. But that’s not the game we’re playing. So I don’t know.
Lol I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come off in a creepy way haha I assure you that I meant that in the most respectful way possible. I'm sorry if it creeps you out, I didn't mean for it to, I just couldn't find a more appropriate way of letting you know. I just find myself being very attracted to you both physically and mentally. You're gorgeous, and your personality is divine. I'm not a creeper lol just a gentleman who admires you. I hope you had a wonderful day and a lovely night.
Hahaha I can see it as respectful, I guess I’m not used to people telling me that they jack off to me LOL but thank you! I appreciate your admiration and kindness towards me :) You have a great day as well!